Bridal
Dear bride,
Let’s have a little chat about the relationships you will need to navigate during this season – your relationship with your parents, larger family, friends, the community and your fiancé.
Cue in ship no. 1: your parent(s). This could be your birth parents, step parents, fiancé’s parents, and/or guardians. These are the people who are quite literally responsible for a big chunk of the person that you are today. They have seen you through the seasons and transitions of your life right from birth, to your first steps and first words, first day of school, first boyfriend, graduations, first job/business, just to mention a few and here they are, seeing you through yet another transition of your life; one of the biggest ones if I do say so myself. To these people I say HONOR them.
Ephesians 6:1-4 – “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Your wedding season is as new to them as it is to you. And before you say you have a sibling that got married before you, it’s different for every child because of the uniqueness of the bond. They haven’t walked this journey with you so accord them the grace they need as they go through the motions. Listen to and respect their opinions, ideas and demands. I promise you it won’t hurt you to go cake tasting at your mum’s favorite baker or accommodate those 5 extra aunties you’ve never met, haha! They have always wanted the best for you, and even now, they still do.
A tiny note on the larger family: siblings, uncles, aunties, cousins and grandparents. Know who to reel in and who to respectfully keep at a distance. We all know how complex family can be at times, so apply wisdom and guard your peace.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Truth is that this demanding season might test some of your friendships. Those closest to you might not be as present as you’d hope, and some of those you consider acquaintances might bless you with your presence you will be in awe! You might experience an abundance of love and though not ideal, some hurt. Keep your dearest friends close and communicate your expectations of them if any. If they fall short, forgive quickly, reconcile and forget. Remember, it’s your wedding season. They can choose to be there for you which would be beautiful but don’t allow their absence to steal your joy.
Literally everyone around you counts as the next ship: the community. These people will always, and I mean always have something to say – good, bad, a welcome tip, something uncalled for, a word of encouragement, something unnecessary, a blessing, and so much more. Thing is, you don’t know what you’ll get at any point in time and from whom.
Romans 12:18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Know when to engage, when to listen in silence, when to smile and walk away, and when to draw a boundary. Don’t sit with the negatives for too long. Free your heart and your mind to focus on the things that matter most. For the positives, acknowledge and hold onto them and pass them on to a future bride.
The most important ship of them all: your relationship with your fiancé. This season is about the two of you and everyone else is there as a result. Remember this one thing, you are the one who chose him, and together, you have chosen to loop in other people into your relationship for this season. What am I saying? He is the priority! Everyone else is secondary. This is your journey towards becoming man and wife. I like to look at it as your first team project. Loop each other in, run the errands together, attend the premarital classes, get acquainted with each other’s friends and family, communicate, get his input, get to know him better and allow him to know you better. If your relationship with him is flourishing, then all other ships become easier to navigate; so make sure it flourishes!
Love, hugs and lots of best wishes and prayers,
A former bride,
Wachuka